At the beginning of October, when I went to DC for the Solar Decathlon, I had a surreal experience that brought me a few degrees closer to NCIS. I sat next to my favorite plane neighbor ever, a guy named Mike who was a former Assistant Director of the REAL NCIS. Mike was a super-nice dude who told me all sorts of amazing stories about working as a Special Agent in his early days and later, how he helped set up a forensic lab in Iraq that assisted in catching terrorists who targeted our soldiers. Now I realize that Mike could have been pulling my chain, but he was an Irish-Catholic-Boston type, and he seemed like a honest guy with a humble outlook who was in awe of his good fortune. Anyway, we had a great chat and I was tickled by his stories of meeting Mark Harmon and the rest of the cast of the show when they came to his office. Would that plane neighbors could always be that cool!
And, clearly, because I wasn't nerding out enough on this show, I decided to dress up as NCIS's goth Forensic Scientist Abby Scuitto for Halloween. I was pleased to find that roughly half the people I encountered in Portland on Halloween night knew who I was (many fellow nerds, I assume). After posting a photo of myself in my costume on Facebook, I received a text message from my friend Lisa who was at a Halloween party in Los Angeles while I was partying in Portland. It contained a picture of Lisa with the fabulous actress who portrays Abby (they were at the same party together), thus cinching my loyalty to the show:
Therefore, without further ado, here is my fledgling list of Things I Learned About Life by Watching NCIS:
- British people started driving on the left-hand side of the road because their horses originally rode that way; since most people are right-handed, it was easier to sword fight from their horses if their right sides were passing each other. (I don't know if this factoid is true but it sounds good, and Ducky said so, therefore I am going with it)
- There is ALWAYS evidence at crime scenes. It is nearly impossible to NOT leave DNA evidence at crime scenes.
- Nerdy, sensitive computer types are, in reality, quite a bit hotter than supposedly hot beefy jock types.
- Do not mess with Marine snipers, aka "gunnies". *
- If you are a female working for NCIS, your life will always be in danger, and you have a good chance of dying; UNLESS you are a trained Israeli assassin, in which case you are almost always doing the a**-kicking. The opposite is true for the men; male NCIS team members have a much greater chance of survival, while the male trained Israeli assassins have a good chance of dying a violent death.
- A "Probie" is a probationary officer.
- A "LEO" is a Law Enforcement Officer.
- A "bolo" is an alert put out by LEOs to find vehicles transporting bad guys.
- "SecNav" is the Secretary of the Navy.
- Whereas the Army and the Air Force have completely separate "jurisdictions", the Navy and the Marines share many things, including NCIS, and the Medal of Honor (for the honorable few who get one).
...I'm sure I'll figure out more. Post them if you have some! Nerds unite!